We got so high we made milksteak
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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