Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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