Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
