She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
