I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Girls should come with a carfax report
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
