Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
