I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
