I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
