sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
