It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
