You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
