Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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