meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
