dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
