I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I want a musical about memes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
