If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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