All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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