she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
