im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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