God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
