I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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