Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
