i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm really busy with my period
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