That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
