nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
