That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
