the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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