worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
