I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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