tell your sister to shave her snatch
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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