the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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