i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They are going to name an STD after you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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