Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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