Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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