New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
