dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
