And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
