i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
