but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
