Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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