she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
