margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What a dumb baby whore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
