She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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