That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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