He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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