clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
