I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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