It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
