john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
