we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
