Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
